Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no, he came in my armpit
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
