let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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