how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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