if i can run in heels then i can drive
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
