the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
