This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
