I'm so fucking centered right now
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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