She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
