My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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