You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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