Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
