I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
