do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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