We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize