She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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