you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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