Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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