I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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