Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
