I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
