I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
