I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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