Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
