If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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