That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
