I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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