I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
