Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize