We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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