Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
