She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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