I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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