I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
