I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize