wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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