guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
