Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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