I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize