she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
