I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
