I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
