I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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