Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
