Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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