We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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