she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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