hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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