when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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