So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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