What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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