You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
