I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
