I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
