On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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