he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
