New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
