I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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