I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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