Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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